Recently a soon-to-be-married friend asked me if being pregnant was fun. Without much thought I answered, “no”. No, it’s not fun dealing with morning sickness, swollen ankles and feet, back pain, and insomnia. It’s not fun when the simplest of tasks become difficult because of your growing baby bump. It’s not fun to toss and turn at night next to a peacefully sleeping husband, jealous of his ability to just be comfortable and sleep through the night. It’s not fun to miss cocktail hour with friends and to bypass the glass or two of wine with dinner (oh goodness, do I ever miss red wine!).
After spending a while thinking about it more, I wish I had answered my friend more thoroughly. While it isn’t fun, pregnancy is a lot of other things: amazing, daunting, scary, wonderful, beautiful.
- It’s amazing what your body is capable of doing.
- It’s daunting to know you are so responsible for the well-being of this little person (or persons).
- It’s scary to think of everything that could go wrong and it’s scary to feel so out of control.
- It’s wonderful to know you are a vital part of creation.
- It’s beautiful each and every time you realize your body is so much more than just a body now and you are never alone
I’m into my third trimester now, counting down the last 10 weeks (or less) until the twins come. I used to think these nine months would be so long, that I’d feel like I was pregnant forever. Looking back, I can hardly believe I’m already so far along! My feet and ankles have been swelling, my bump is growing like crazy, I can’t seem to ever get comfortable anymore, and simply getting groceries seems a Herculean feat. Pregnancy still isn’t fun. As the due date gets closer, I find myself a mix of emotions. I’m nervous, I’m excited.
Being a first-time mom is scary enough, but things are so different with twins and I have no idea what to expect. There’s only so much reading you can do to prepare yourself. Primarily I’m nervous about the twins’ health and safety. I want to avoid preterm labor and make sure these babies are strong and healthy before they’re born. I am responsible for their well-being, but I know there are some things I cannot control no matter how careful I am.
I’m nervous about being a mom. Life changed for us the moment we found out I was expecting. Life has kept changing since then, and it won’t stop changing. I’ve spent the past 6 months doing all I can to prepare us for life with babies. Neither TwinDad nor I are strangers to babies. I’ve grown up in a large immediate family and I’ve been babysitting/nannying since I was very young. TwinDad grew up in a very large extended family with lots and lots of babies. However, we’ve never had babies of our own which requires a new level of responsibility…and, of course, constant care 24/7. We always wanted children of our own and we’re thrilled to be growing our family, but we’re still nervous about being parents. I know there are going to be difficult days when we are oh so tired and stretched thin…how am I going to respond to those days?
My mom keeps reminding me that being a mother is a sacrifice and that sacrifice begins the moment you become pregnant. Your body is serving a higher purpose and every unpleasant thing you go through, all the pain and discomfort, is part of that sacrifice. Birth is a sacrifice. It’s not pretty. It’s beautiful, but it’s not pretty. It’s beautiful to be a part of creation and bringing a new person into the world, but it’s still not pretty, it’s still painful and difficult and a sacrifice.
Part of what makes a sacrifice is the willing participation in the sacrificial act. Marriage is a sacrifice in its own right since you make a daily choice to give yourself to your spouse in countless different ways. Loving someone is hard sometimes! As a mom, you make a willing choice to devote yourself body, heart, and soul to your children. On those most difficult of days I will try to remind myself that each difficult day will end and if I embrace the sacrifices I may not be any less tired or stretched thin, but I will remember the higher purpose and remember that it’s worth every second. Take a deep breath.
Even with all the nervousness and the worries, I’m still just so ridiculously excited. I cannot wait to meet these babies for which I have been caring. I cannot wait to see what color their eyes will be. I cannot wait to hear their distinct cries. I cannot wait to hold the little hands and kiss the little feet that have been punching and kicking inside of me. I cannot wait to see my husband really become a father. I cannot wait to bring our babies home and grow together as a family.
Though pregnancy may not be fun and there is so much to be nervous about, it’s worth every second. I haven’t even met my babies yet and it’s already so worth it each and every time I feel a baby movement. It’s so worth it to feel the babies respond to the sound of their father’s voice (I swear, they love it when he’s home and move for him!) I imagine the moment I meet them and look into their little faces for the first time I’ll be struck again by how worth it each sacrifice has been.
While I hold to my original answer that pregnancy is not fun, I want to say that it is beautiful and wonderful and amazing not just in spite of all the sacrifices but because of all the sacrifices.